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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Monday, July 5, 2004
Next year I'm stayin' home
Mood:  don't ask
Oh my goodness, what a holiday weekend. Christy, I'm FINALLY getting around to adding our fantastic story from Friday night! Being without power for 29 hours kind of held things up, lol. More on that further down, which I know you're on the edge of your seat now...

Okay, Friday night my mom offered to watch the kids so Paul and I could go out before his vacation ended. We had spent Thursday at Mark and Christy's since we hadn't seen them in forEVER and during the course of conversation we asked them to go with us. Well, Christy called me Friday morning and said that yes, they had a sitter and they could go. The plan was to meet at the Rib Crib in Joplin at 5:30. We left the kids at Mom's around 4:30 and headed to Joplin. We drove to Joplin in the rain (which y'all know does horrific things to my hair), but it really wasn't anything more than a light misty rain, the kind that just makes things dreary. We met the Wylands at the restaurant and waited about 10 minutes for our table, deciding during that wait that we'd go see The Terminal there in Joplin after dinner. OOh I was so excited - seeing a movie with no animated critters or comic strip heroes! We get seated, order our food and are just doing the typical couples out without the children thing, visiting like normal humans. Our food gets there and man, are we chowing down. Oh geez, the food was SO good! Not being a big barbecue fan, it was a nice surprise for me. We're about 5 minutes into our meal and I commented that it was sure raining hard. Everyone nods while they continue eating, it wasn't a real big deal. Then someone opened the door letting in the sound of the tornado siren. Yes, I said tornado siren. We all 4 kind of look at each other, look around, look at each other and laugh uncomfortably, look around some more...are you getting the sense that we were kind of confused as to why the sirens were going off and no one was paying any attention to it????? It was weird, lemme tell ya. Then all of the sudden we hear someone yell "THERE IT IS!" Well, Mr Hoover was out of that booth in a heartbeat and at the door looking for the twister that was going to relocate us to Oz. Mr Wyland, on the other hand, was still poking chicken strips into his piehole. (Marky, you know I love you!) When we heard Paul concur that, yes, there indeed was a tornado that was enough to get the 3 of us out of the booth as well. Christy and I ran to the window and look toward the horizon, expecting to see something from the scenes of Twister. I said, "I don't see anything!" and she grabs my hand and says "LOOK UP!!" Thar she blows, er blew, actually kind of spun and rotated...anyway...there was the freaking FUNNEL! Right over our heads, doing it's dead level best to form into a full-fledged tornado and strut it's stuff on the ground for all to see. Oh man, my insides were already shaking but when I saw my first real life, up close and personal funnel cloud directly over my head, mind you, those insides just kind of went all the way over into Jello consistency. Christy's looking at me asking what we're going to do and I'm just kind of standing there going "Duhhhhhhh" like SpongeBob's friend, Patrick. Okay not really, but I was pretty shaken up anyway. Then quick as all get out, the funnel was gone, back up in the clouds, adios amigos, see ya later, Witchy Poo, we are not going to Oz today. After that, the plate of pulled pork still sitting on that table in front of me didn't look so appealing. I called Mom to check on her and the kids and she said, "Oh, is it raining?" Holy crap, yeah and then some, Mom! Things were fine in Miami and never got bad the entire night. I wasn't too savvy to sitting in a movie theatre with the weather so freaky because even though they'd give us warning, I'm sure, was it going to be as much warning as I wanted or needed? We decided to go on to Neosho to Mark and Christy's house to rent some movies. The weather was spooky all the way there, but nothing more than rain ever hit us. We checked out the movie times at the Neosho theatre, deciding that as long as the weather was okay, we'd catch the late show. So in the meantime, the boys played a PlayStation2 game and Christy and I laid on her bed and watched our Senior Prom video. ROFL, what a RIOT!!! That was so much fun! After that little walk down memory lane, we got around and saw The Stepford Wives at the late show. It was a very eventful evening and as much as I love Mark and Christy, I'd rather not repeat anything like it for awhile!

So Saturday was spent just getting ready for the 4th's festivities. Paul, his brother and a friend went to a bike rally in Grove and the kids and I just hung out here at the house, cleaning and getting things ready. I ended up with a headache as the evening wore on and instead of baking the crusts for the desserts, I opted to go to bed early and just get up early to do my baking before church. Ever heard that saying "He who hesitates is lost"? Well, hesitation caused me to lose out on 3 desserts for the 4th. I woke up around 6 am to the sound of a pretty big storm. At 6:30 when I was in the bathroom (the only room in the house with no windows, mind you) the electricity went out. We got our power back at 10:50 this morning. It was a good ol' fashioned Fourth of July, lemme tell ya. We were pretty primitive. Okay, primitive for us anyway, lol. We did the burgers on the grill, as planned, but the desserts had to be left by the wayside and we weren't hurt a bit by the caloric deprivation. Everyone learned to grab a flashlight if they needed to use the bathroom and it didn't really matter that my bathroom never got cleaned. It was too dark to see the dirt! We ate outside, as was planned, and it was a whole heck of a lot cooler out there anyway. I took Melissa, Heather and Uncle David on 4-wheeler rides around the mile section to cool off, the kids played on the slip n' slide and we watched some pretty good fireworks while we slapped mosquitoes by the light of the tiki torches. It really wasn't too bad now that I look back, now that I sit here in my air conditioning again.

There was supposed to be another storm come in overnight and we just couldn't see spending the night shut up in that house, so the kids and I packed up and went to Mom's to spend the night in air conditioning. Paul stayed here just in case the electricity came back on. Something about power surges and not wanting anything to blow up. I think he was just wanting to be alone, lol. He was supposed to go back to work today, but ended up calling in this morning because we weren't sure when we were supposed to get power back and we had two freezers and a fridge that needed to be relocated. He emptied the fridge and small freezer and brought them to Mom's where we stashed and stowed our food. He went back to the house to check on things before going out to his brother's to load up the generator to plug everything into. While he was at the house the second time the power was restored. Halleluiah! Our concern was that they wouldn't be able to get down to where the line was downed. It was down in the river bottom, which was flooded from all the rain. We figured it'd be a few days because things would have to dry out in order for them to get trucks in there. Thanks to the miracle of bucket trucks and whatever other magic wands they used, they got it back on this morning.

Ya know, last year on the 3rd is when Paul had his wreck and we spent the 4th thanking God that we still had him with us. It was a weekend I didn't want to repeat and figured that this year would certainly be better. Okay, so yes, it was better - I mean no one in the family was injured and all we ended up missing out on was a couple of really good pies on the 4th, but frankly, next year I plan on renting some movies a few days before the 4th, staying holed up in my comfy house and not tempting things.

The Diva has spoken at 5:43 PM CDT

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