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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Thursday, July 29, 2004
Luck be a lady
Mood:  hungry
Well, at least the $25 I lost at the casino tonight wasn't mine. *sigh*

Tonight was my first ride in a limo, which I could SO get used to. We all met up at the casino and left our cars, so everyone could go home when they wanted later. Lemme tell ya, they were double and triple stacked in Aunt Janet's van when I arrived and when Aunt Janet said, "Climb in and find a lap!" I replied, "Oh dear, there is no lap in there quite ready for that." Man, was I ever glad when her sister volunteered to drive her car! We all gathered in Larry and Janet's house to await the arrival of the limos. They brought a black and a white one, a Lincoln and a Cadillac. I told the driver at the door that I wanted to ride in the Caddy, but to tell you the truth I just got in the black one because it was prettier and I couldn't tell the difference. We crammed 9 people into a limo that was probably only supposed to seat 6 or 7. And Mom and I ended up riding backwards and I was pretty thankful the drive out there was only about 5 miles. Any further and they'd have had to pull that long sucker over to let me hurl. So anyway, we just goofed it up real good the entire drive, really enjoying ourselves and probably making that poor driver think we were nuts. I'm surprised he didn't put up that little privacy window divider thingy. At the casino we all got out and they took our picture (and of course I forgot my camera!! But they're supposed to email them to me tomorrow) then the escorted us into the bar where they had the whole shebang set up. No pictures there since it's illegal inside the place, but it was pretty nice - for a bar inside a casino anyway, lol. They fed us t-bones that were so melt in your mouth it was incredible. My cousin Keith had a baked potato on his plate that honestly was as big as a football! I sat between my cousins, Chad and Keith, and that was probably one of the most fun meals I've ever eaten. We laughed so hard through the entire meal I'm surprised one of us didn't get choked. Here's an example of the kind of things we were laughing over:

Chad and Courtney are working at a motorcycle rally this weekend and Courtney is announcing. She was telling us how she is going to have to announce the wet t-shirt concert and wasn't really all that excited about it. When she asked them just how she was supposed to go about saying it they said, "Just yell 'SHOW US YOUR T--S!'" She was even less excited about saying that. Then they proceed to tell us how rough it might get with all those bikers and all that beer. I told her that if things got too rowdy to just yell my name over the intercom and I'd come up and show 'em my boobs because that was sure to clear the place in a heartbeat. Keith said if I just cut two holes in my shirt right off the bat I'd be able to control the crowd. But when I told him that the holes would have to be down close to the hem of the shirt he and Chad nearly fell out of their chairs. Crude, yes it is. Funny, even more so. Sadly, it's not too far from true. *shrugs* What can I say.

Along with the free meal we also got the $25 free play I mentioned, but we found two bonuses in our envelopes in the form of 2 free beers. Not being a beer drinker, I promptly gave mine to cousin Keith. So did just about everyone else. If the poor kid makes it home tonight it'll be a miracle, lol. I played my money to the best of my ability, which isn't saying much. I mean, how much ability is really required to hit the button over and over in electonic gaming? I played for over an hour on their $25 and came home with $5, so all in all it wasn't too bad. If I'd cashed out every time I won I'd have come home with $35 more, but oh well. I had fun while it lasted.

Tomorrow the kids and I have a bunch of errands to run, including getting my driver's license renewed. The state just switched over to a new sytem, not allowing you to use your SSN as your DL# anymore, which means now I have yet another set of numbers to memorize. I'll have to get fingerprinted, too and of course, have that awful picture taken. And it's supposed to rain, which means I will have the most horrendous hair ever. Just once I'd like to take a half way decent driver's license picture...just once! Of course, my last picture, while still bad, is a heck of a lot better than my Sam's Club membership card picture. Oh heaven's, that thing is atrocious!!! Even my mom, who tries to always make ya feel good, said, "Oh honey."

Well, I hear a piece of red velvet cake calling to me from the kitchen. Yes, I realize it's nearly midnight and yes, I know it'll go straight to my butt, and no, I really don't care. Then I'm off to get my beauty sleep before my photo shoot tomorrow!!

The Diva has spoken at 11:12 PM CDT
Updated: Thursday, July 29, 2004 11:16 PM CDT

Sunday, August 1, 2004 - 11:21 AM CDT

Name: wally edmond
Home Page:

Dear Diva,

You sure do have an exciting life, girl! As always, very enjoyable reading. (Don't forget to take the curlers out)! Ha?

Wally Edmond

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