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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
If you're looking for sunshine, flowers and rainbows...
Mood:  sad
...look elsewhere. The Diva is pretty blue today and I apologize in advance for any depression or rotten attitude I pass on.

First of all, I'm just a hair pouty these days because my husband is working a job and a half and I'm tired of playing "single mommy" now. In addition to his "real" job at the big WM, he's doing construction now. He and his friend are gutting and remodelling a house in town and when I say gutting....hoo doggies, do I mean gutting. It's a trainwreck, or at least it was when I was over there on Friday. They've done a lot since then and I'm sure it's shaping up. They really do good work and are hard workers. Which is good and bad. Good because they are getting lots of jobs lined up - right now they have work for a year. But it's also bad because the kids and I never see him. I see him more than the kids and only a tad longer. They go to bed at 8 and their daddy's getting home between 10 and midnight every night. Then he's off and running again in the morning. I'm usually in bed when he comes home, but at least he can wake me up and if I'm coherent I'll remember the conversation. Agh. We need the money, granted, but do we need it so much that we do it at the expense of our children who need their daddy? At the expense of our marriage? He asked me yesterday what my opinion on it all was. I told him that something had to give. And quick. I hate to be a real bitch about it, but geez. If I'm going to play a game of Single Mommy, I'd at least like to be gettin' some on occasion, lol.

Then my best friend, Tiff, calls today and drops a bomb that she and her husband might very likely be moving back to where they came from. They're my best "non-family" friends and I'm not handling this well at all. I'm crushed, to put it mildly. I am tickled pink that John's getting a wonderful job and they are going to be closer to their families again, but I'm bein' kind of selfish when I say that I don't want them to go! Trying to be a grownup when you wanna cry is really hard sometimes.

But all my whining about my absentee husband and relocating friends seems so trivial when I think about a family in our church right now. The 16 year old son/brother fell out of a jeep over the weekend and was run over. He's alive, but the outlook is not good. He's 16. Tell me there's fairness in that somewhere. Yeah, I didnt' think so...

I have tremendous faith in God, but sometimes the human in me just wants to throw myself down and scream out a good temper tantrum for awhile.

The Diva has spoken at 3:12 PM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, September 1, 2004 10:13 PM CDT

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 - 7:03 PM CDT

Name: Shawn
Home Page: http://parttimemom.tripod.com/blog/

Nothing wrong with having a good old fashioned rant/pouting session. I would venture to say that you've got some legitmet things going on there. Here's hoping you get the hours worked out. With my sweety going out of town next week, I'll set to do some pouting myself.

Seriously though, it's a tough decision to make... work more, make more, give your family more, or stay home, be poor but have TIME. We constantly debate weather or not we should get seconds jobs and pay off some of these bills, but everytime the subject comes up we end up shooting it down. I just can't stand the thought of spending that much time apart.

Good Luck - and I'm sorry to hear that your loosing an friend. That always SUCKS>

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