I really need to snap out of it. I'm a wreck these days. I've cried so much the last 2 days it's shameful. All I want to do is sleep because when I'm awake I cry. Not able to actually do all of the avoidance sleep I so desire, but I'd sure like to. These are signs of depression, I realize that. It's a good thing I don't have time to actually get depressed.
The boy from our church that I mentioned in yesterdays' blog...well, the family had to make the unthinkable decision to turn off his life-support today. I honestly cannot get my mind to grasp this thought, nor do I really want to. I cannot fathom the full realm of what they are going through and when my mind starts to try to conceptualize what they are enduring I just shut it down because I don't even want to ever think about something so horrible happening to my family. I have lost a child, I know about the bottomless pit of grief involved in losing a child, but the child I lost was an infant that I'd never met. I can't imagine having to actually say good-bye to a child you have held and touched and known for 16 years. Not that I'm trivializing any loss, but when I think about losing one of my children now...well, I'm not even going there.
I'm going to stay away from the blog for a day or two. I'm sure as hell not cheering anyone up and frankly, I just need some time to think without being a huge downer.
If you pray, please pray for this family's peace and comfort. If you don't pray, please keep them in your thoughts.