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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Wednesday, September 1, 2004
Blue Wednesday
Mood:  blue
I really need to snap out of it. I'm a wreck these days. I've cried so much the last 2 days it's shameful. All I want to do is sleep because when I'm awake I cry. Not able to actually do all of the avoidance sleep I so desire, but I'd sure like to. These are signs of depression, I realize that. It's a good thing I don't have time to actually get depressed.

The boy from our church that I mentioned in yesterdays' blog...well, the family had to make the unthinkable decision to turn off his life-support today. I honestly cannot get my mind to grasp this thought, nor do I really want to. I cannot fathom the full realm of what they are going through and when my mind starts to try to conceptualize what they are enduring I just shut it down because I don't even want to ever think about something so horrible happening to my family. I have lost a child, I know about the bottomless pit of grief involved in losing a child, but the child I lost was an infant that I'd never met. I can't imagine having to actually say good-bye to a child you have held and touched and known for 16 years. Not that I'm trivializing any loss, but when I think about losing one of my children now...well, I'm not even going there.

I'm going to stay away from the blog for a day or two. I'm sure as hell not cheering anyone up and frankly, I just need some time to think without being a huge downer.

If you pray, please pray for this family's peace and comfort. If you don't pray, please keep them in your thoughts.

The Diva has spoken at 10:11 PM CDT

Thursday, September 2, 2004 - 11:07 AM CDT

Name: Jenn
Home Page:

I am with you on this one. I don't know how I would go on if something happened to one of my boys. I would be a mess, kids are not suppose to go before their parents it is just so unfair. Glad you found our forum, it is pretty fun, and I have only read your last 2 posts, but I already enjoy your blog.

Thursday, September 2, 2004 - 4:45 PM CDT

Name: Shawn
Home Page:

Wow - that would be a hard thing to do. I can't even wrap my brain around it.

Take all the time you need to sort things out. Or sort them out here if you need. You arn't REQUIRED to be upbeat and postive. If this is about the 'real' you, then there are good days and bad days the entirety of which is you.

That family will be in my prayers.

Thursday, September 2, 2004 - 7:58 PM CDT

Name: david
Home Page:


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