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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
My spidey-senses are tingling...
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: Hey Ya - Outkast
MY GOSH but I'm tired. And all I do is stay home every single day. *she says sarcastically*

Just like Jenn did last week I'm going to relate the goings-on of my day. This is just today, but rest assured that every day is pretty much like this. Unless it's a day that we actually LEAVE the house - then it's 4 billion times worse.

10:30pm last night - Finally bedtime. I fall into the bed after a nice long hot shower. But alas, the husband starts breathing on me and well, you know what this means. Yep, I realize that's goin' right into the ol' TMI file, but oh well, it's MY blog and I can write it if I want.
11:30pm - SLEEP (yeah, we were really on an ol' roll last night, hubba hubba y'all!)
3:30am - Sam come in and does the "stare at Mom until she wakes up all kinds of freaked out". He'd had a bad dream, then decided to relate the entire thing to me. Now, normally I'm pretty sympathetic, but at 3:30am, sympathy does not come easily. Neither does sharing a bed with two males, both of which snore.
4:00am - I give up and move to the couch.
5:30am - Blasted alarm goes off. I reset the sumbitch to 6, this means I don't get a shower before the kids leave for school, but then, does one really have to look their best before the bus runs?
6:00 - Alarm again and I bounce off the couch. I read awhile back that if you actually bounce out of or off of whatever you are sleeping, you meet the day with more enthusiasm. Whatever. Bullshit. I still bounce, though, thinking that one of these days it'll work.
6:05 - Making the day's gallon of sweet tea. Gosh, I love living in the South. Okay, so we're not really the South, but we still like sweet tea.
6:10 - Tea brewing in the microwave, I go pee. (hehe, Jenn, I just had to put it in mine too!)
6:11 - I am visited in the bathroom by my son. Someday I am relatively sure I will pee in solitude once again.
6:15 - Kady joins Sam and I in the bathroom where he's peeing now and telling me about his nightmare again.
6:30 - Time to wake up Princess Abby.
6:35 - Fix Kady a cup of milk and hand her a Nutri-grain bar. This will be the extent of my breakfast making abilities this morning.
6:45 - Sam asks me to check the menu and when I announce "Meatball subs" he groans, grabs his belly and falls to the floor. "Iiiiii haaaaaate meeeeeeatballlll suuuuuuuubs!" Gosh, ya big baby, so do I, but you don't see me rolling around on the linoleum.
6:50 - I am slapping PB&J on a hamburger bun, throwing Cheetos in a ziplock and trying my best to stuff a huge banana in his itty bitty novelty Spiderman lunchbox. It's one of those that is supposed to sit on a shelf, but he insists on carrying it. Glad he's a little guy and doesn't eat much.
7:00 - Fortunately Ab wants dog-ears today and I am relieved that I don't have to curl her hair. While I'm playing early-morning beauty shop, I'm yelling at Sam to get his shoes on, yelling at Kady to eat her Nutri-grain bar and trying to wake up Husband through the baby monitor in Kady's room. (Which he hates. Which is why I do it.)
7:05 - Sis pulls up with Gentry and Addison. I step out on the porch with 3 kids and some still wild-ass hair, no bra and morning breath, still cranky because I have yet to drink any of that tea that I made what seemed like eons ago. Sis and I chat awhile then she decides she really need to go to work. Fine, be that way. Don't stay and play with us, go and be successful and wear your makeup...where was I? Anyway...
7:15 - The bus picks up the 3 bus kids and I can discontinue the vigil out the front window and finally get a shower.
7:20 - Ahhh...shower. But of course, I'm interrupted multiple times by Husband, Kady and at one point I think Gentry. Some days the shower is a haven - others, not so much.
7:45 - Drying the hair, having a conversation with myself as to whether makeup is going to be a part of this day. I decide that it is definitely not going to be a part and neither is fixing my hair. Ponytail time.
8:00 - Computer time and FINALLY a glass of sweet tea. The kids are watching Nick Jr and all is well with the world.
9:30 - First daycare kid arrives.
10:00 - Last two daycare kids arrive. The circus has begun. The morning is punctuated by countless "no no's" and "Andrew, STOP that, we don't DO that, sweetie!" and several declarations that no, we do not jump on the couch no matter how fun it is and no, jumping from the couch to the ottoman isn't an alternative.
10:45 - My kitchen counter looks like an assembly line in a PB&J factory. Finally 5 sandwiches are complete and adorn plates along with colored Goldfish cracker and grapes.
11:00 - I call the heathens, I mean little darlings, to the table and lunchtime is punctuated with more declarations, such as "Gentry, do not hang Goldfish out of your mouth like rotten teeth. Would you like it if I did that?" (Silly question, the little bugger said yes.) "Drew, no grapes do not go up your nose. Chandler, no more than one grape in your mouth at one time, dear. Kady if you 'write' on the table one more timewith that grape I am going to spank you butt and take away your birthday!"
12:00 - The children have been banished from the living room because it is now time for Kiki to watch All My Children. I do not miss All My Children and do not like to be interrupted whilst watching All My Children. The children know this. They comply.
12:30 - Commercial break, the children are put down for a nap in the 2 minute break from my show. Damn, I'm good.
1:00 - AMC is over and now it's computer time for me once more.
3:00 - Munchkins awake.
3:30 - We walk to the end of the driveway to get the bus kids. Normally they walk up by themselves, but today I had to get the neighbor girls.
3:45 - Myself and 10 children walk back up the driveway.
4:10 - Bub picks up Addison and Gentry. There are now 8...*sigh*
4:15 - Snacks. Grapes are awesome snacks. Throw in some Ritz crackers and apple juice and kids have a smorgasbord.
4:30 - I check out folders, set Abby down to do homework, decide on a time to attempt to fit in Parent Teacher Conferences for 2 kids, while juggling daycare kids' schedules.
5:00 - Two parents arrive and take away 4 children. And then there were 4...

It's now 6pm and these kids are griping for dinner. What do they think I am - their mother or something? Gosh, you'd think I was supposed to FEED them or something!

I just read over the events of my day and realized that no where in there does it mention dishes or laundry - then it hits me I DIDN'T DO DISHES OR LAUNDRY TODAY. Agh, guess I'll do that tonight...husband better keep his breath to himself tonight. I just don't think I'm up for anymore of that business... Last night oughta hold him over for 3, maybe 4 weeks...right? RIGHT????

The Diva has spoken at 6:03 PM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, September 15, 2004 6:04 PM CDT

Thursday, September 16, 2004 - 11:12 AM CDT

Name: Jenn
Home Page:

Isn't it crazy the we have 300 things to do before we can even think about going pee!

Your morning sounds so a lot like mine, but you have to get up so darn early, I hate getting up early!

Friday, September 17, 2004 - 3:25 PM CDT

Name: Sychotic1

I will take my rousting a teenager, taking a shower, making a pot of coffee, dropping the teenager off at school and then fighting traffic into work, whereupon all effort ceases, to your kid corraling efforts.

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