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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Saturday, September 18, 2004

Now Playing: Dierks Bentley - How am I Doin'?
Okay, I have been a bad blogger as of late. This is one damn crazy life I lead. But then again, doesn't everyone?

Okay, before I go any further I have to make a declaration. Hold on tight, here's she comes:

I AM DRIVING IN MY FIRST DEMOLITION DERBY NEXT WEEKEND!!!!!!!!

Whew...I feel so much better. Sometimes I just shout it out for no apparent reason. Well, there is an apparent reason - I'm excited!!!! I've wanted to do this for 2 years now and am FINALLY getting to do it. They had the first one here in town in September of '02 and you can ask my neurotic friend, I started talking about driving in one that very night. In fact, her husband said if he ever drove in one I could drive Powder Puff in his car. What a friend! But alas, Mike hasn't ever decided to drive. So last year another friend of mine drove and said I could drive Powder Puff in his car, but then the afternoon of the derby, his mom had to go out of town and he had no one to watch the baby. Well, he really had worked hard on his car and I hated for all that work to go to waste, so I offered to babysit. Dreams...dashed...*sigh*. Well, it just so happens that the guy my husband does construction with now is really good friends with one of the cops in town who drives in every demo derby and tough truck competition around here. (Didja follow that?) SO I just nonchalantly asked if he thought Hightower would let me drive his car in Powder Puff. What a generous man Hightower is - when asked he said, "Heck, we'll just get her a car of her own!" If I weren't married I think I'd have a crush on that man. I might anyway. *wink* He donated the car and Richie and Paul have done the work on it, with Hightower's help, of course. They put a $30 oil filter on it and a $9 fuel injector and it'll cost me $12 for the gallon of paint and another $10 or so for the paint to purty it up. So for roughly $60 I am going to forever go down in at least the family's history books!

I actually got to see the car for the first time yesterday. I took Paul and Richie out to lunch because they have worked so hard on that car this last week. So after lunch they had me drive out to the shop to check her out. Now, they had told me it was purple, but my gosh I think I have corneal burns now from looking at 'er. Lord have mercy, that is one OBNOXIOUS color of purple! I'm going to repaint it a milder color of lavender, hoping that if we get bleed-through the two purples meld harmoniously. Friday Sis and I are going over to put a few feminine touches on it. For one, she's painting a garden gnome on the hood for me. I love gnomes and she thought that my car should sport one. I love that girl. Of course, REDNECK DIVA will be emblazoned down the sides in hot pink and we're going to paint a border of daisies around the windshield - erm if there was a windshield - around the gaping hole where the windshield once was. The thing has set open for a year now so of course, she's a little rough in the interior. A cat has slept there once or twice seeing as how there's cat hair all over the seat, not to mention pods from the overhanging trees, beer cans and bottles and lots and lots of dust. The air conditioner works great. That's God's air conditioning, I'm tellin' ya. LOL Abby took one look at it and said, "Uhh, Mom? Are you gonna vacuum it out before you drive it?" Sis found a beer bottle in what used to be the dash, set it up and said, "Oh we MUST find you some flowers for that!"

I gotta say that while we were all standing around looking at it I felt mightly manly. I got this strong urge for a chew, then that was quickly replaced with the desire for a cigarette, especially when one of the guys from the shop spit right at my feet. Oh wait, that was my husband. I'm toying with my masculinity, but I don't think I'm ready for a plug of tobaccer.

My mom is pissed off beyond belief. She will not even allow me to talk about it to her. She thinks it's ridiculous and dangerous. Well, duh. Nah, I know she just worries about her little girl. I will worry about my little girl when she wants to drive a demo derby, too. (OH I can SO see Kady doing this! Abby, not so much.) But you know, I am 31 years old and this is something I really want to try. Like I told my Dad the other night: At least now I won't look back one of these days and say "Man, I wish I had." Dad laughed and said, "This is true, but Sunday morning you're liable to say, 'Man, I wish I hadn't!'" Okay, so if I do, I do. I'll have fun in the meantime. And you will not believe the people who actually say to me, "You do realize you're going to be bruised, right?" *gasps* Really? Oh, well that changes everything! Bullcrap. Yes, folks, I know I will be bruised. I will be sore. I will hurt. I am not that dumb. Dumb enough to drive the derby, but not so dumb I don't realize the repercussions. Geez.

Okay, I'll step off the soapbox now and go take a shower. I'm taking the kids shoe-shopping today!! I'd rather have a root canal...


The Diva has spoken at 8:06 AM CDT

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