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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Get your tickets to the Mouse-capades! Coming soon to a bathroom near you!
Mood:  silly
Well, like Collin, I think my karma is doomed.

I had the kids settled in at the breakfast table this morning and decided that I had a moment to actually pee by myself, so I took off down the hall. When I flipped on the light what did I find but an adorable little gray mouse running in circles on the bathroom rug! I don't know if the poor guy had some sort of seizure disorder and the light threw him into a fit or what, but he was literally just running in circles on the rug. Of course, upon seeing the rodent I screamed "SH*T" and did a funny little backstepping dance out into the hall. But the mouse didn't run out with me. So I peeked back in to find him still running around. He'd do a few circles, run under the potty chair, back to the rug to circle a few times, run toward the toilet, then back to the rug. It really was rather amusing, I must say. But still, I don't like mice nor do I want them in my home, so I - in my best stage whisper - called to Ab and said, "Go wake up your daddy and tell him to bring the broom!" Upon hearing that, Sam yells from the breakfast table, "COOL!! MOMMMMMMM!! If it's a scorpion it's MINE!" I, with my eyes still on the drunken mouse, said, "Sorry son, it's just a mouse." Well, I then hear chairs scooting on the kitchen floor and two little boys running toward me. By this time the mouse had tired of his little game, which I'm sure was making him nauseous, and decided to vary his path, bringing him directly at me. I stomped, bound and determined to keep him in that bathroom. Well, he ran under the cabinet lip thingy and I thought that surely he had a hole there and was going to escape, but no he just sat there and cowered. By now I'm starting to feel really sorry for our epileptic rodent friend, but then here comes husband down the hall, in his underwear, with the broom in hand. Cussing me, mind you.
"Dammit, Kristin! I was asleep! WHY did I have to bring you the broom?"
"A MOUSE, dear!"
(mocking me) "A mouse, dear."
SMACK
A chorus of "IIIIEEEWWWWW's" from the kids and the deed is done. He then picks up the twitching critter by the tail and is going to give our new kitten an early morning treat. Sam of course, sees the twitching and says, "If it's still alive can we keep it??" Paul opens the front door only to have headlights glare in at us. Remember, he's in his underwear, lol. He says, "Oh CRAP! Who's that?" I busted out laughing and said, "Oh just my sister." So now he's tearing through the house in his skivvies still carrying the darn mouse by the tail. Well, when the van stopped and I realized it was not Sis but Bub instead, I gave Paul the all-clear and out the back door he went to feed the kitty.

Now, my question is this: Since I was just the one who gave up the poor little guy to the broom-wielding husband and not the actual broom-wielder, does that still pretty much screw up my chances of good karma forevermore?

The Diva has spoken at 10:55 PM CDT

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