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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
A great big bloggy welcome to my little Mini-me!
Mood:  sharp
Okay, I realize there is only one post on there as of yet, but she will put forth more, I'm sure of it. You HAVE to go over to Tiff's site and give her a glorious welcome to the world of blogging! Tell her I sent ya! *wink*

Well, today was a long one. But then again, do I ever get on here and say "Wow, folks, today went so fast! I laid on the couch all day and ate bon bons and watched CMT and SpikeTV and there wasn't one moment of stress in my life today!" Nah, I don't. Trust me. You don't have to search the archives for that one.

I had a meeting with my Membership Coordinator liaison go-between chick from the Almighty Castle of All Things Girl Scout this morning at 10. I was supposed to meet her and another new leader-trainee. Turns out I actually knew the other girl, so that was a nice surprise. I had just sat down at the table when we were interrupted by Becky's, the other trainee, husband who had just seen her car in the parking lot and wanted to stop in and say hi and that he loved her. Oh. My. Gosh. Do men really do this? Is he really THAT enamored with her that he felt compelled to tell her he loved her and wasn't doing the ass rub paired with "baby I want sex tonight" routine? I was stunned. Absolutely stunned. Wow, that was some digression. Anyway, the training went well. I got some questions answered but at the same time my already overworked brain was suddenly brimming with ideas, quandries, questions and the like and I was on the verge of overload by the time we finished. I just wanted to curl up in my big chair with a cup of coffee and absorb the notebook and manual she sent home with me. I didn't get to. How surprising.

I drove straight home and picked up Paul, Kady and Chandler and we went to town. Of course, the first stop was McBleh's for Happy Meals and a (drum roll please) McRib! This is a happy time in the Diva's life. Those for a limited time McRib's are so divine. I could eat one every day and not get tired of them. And here's the best part - I ate the entire thing without getting one single drop of sauce on my sparkling white blouse. Yeah, Monkey will be so proud. (He posted about spilling coffee on white shirts last week, just in case you aren't a regular Monkey reader, in which case SHAME on you) After the kids finished their McHappy McMeals and got their McIncredible McToys, we drove out to McQuapaw McCasino (oops sorry was on a McRoll there)and Buffalo Run Casino for me to pick up employment applications. Yes, dear friends, family and fellow-bloggers, I am going to dabble into the world of the employed once more. It's only been 10 years. I'm terrified, just for the record. My HOPE is that I can work 10p-6a Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. That's my hope. I don't know if they'd give me that, but it's worth a shot. I can't work days, obviously, but graveyards on the weekends would be great. Send me happy thoughts, please? And if you have connections, that'd be helpful, too.

Then we stopped at the only gas station I know of around here where they actually pump your gas for you. I love that place. The guys that work there are some of the sweetest guys you'll ever meet and I go there for gas just so the place'll stay in business. They were lifesavers when the kids were little and I was too paranoid to leave them in the car long enough to walk into a convenience store to pay. Even when I locked it. Even if it was only like 2 steps into the store. I have gone there for 8 years now. Kudos to you, Speed A Way guys!

After that we got haircuts. Husband and I both. KD and Chandler had fallen asleep in the van by this point, so he and I tag teamed the walk-in haircut place. He went first. His cut was great. Then it was my turn. I had my first naggy little icky feeling when I said I'd like a haircut and the woman, who was sprawled allllll over the chair, rolled her eyes, sighed and said, "Oh great". That's customer service, lemme tell ya. So she proceded to cut my hair, telling me that it was surprisingly soft. I guess it didn't look soft? I'm not sure on that one. Then she asked who did my color. She sniffed when I said I did it. The second and much bigger naggy icky feeling came when she whirled my chair around so the woman in the chair next to me could see me and said, "Kelly, does her hair look even?" Holy shit. I let this woman use scissors on my hair??????? But, the haircut actually looks good, I got two compliments tonight and it feels better, so I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm going to find another walk-in hair cuttin' joint, though. Yes, I know it's so redneck of me to not actually have a regular stylist, but oh well. I'm a redneck. Duh.

There was so much more to this day, but frankly, people....the beer I just drank is starting to mix with the four ibuprofen I took awhile ago and I'm starting to feel like ... well, I'm not feeling much of anything right now. I think the bed is the safest place for me at this point.

I am such a dork. But this . . . this you already knew.

The Diva has spoken at 10:29 PM CST

Friday, November 19, 2004 - 1:24 PM CST

Name: Sychotic1

Damn! That Monkey is hilarious and I feel bad for taking so long to find his blog (but I did, thanks to you!)

My sides still hurt from laughing.

Saturday, November 20, 2004 - 10:03 AM CST

Name: redneck-diva

Where would we be without the Monkey? What did we do before we discovered the Monkey? Our lives must've been pretty damn devoid of hilarity.

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