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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Friday, December 10, 2004
Tapioca pudding
Mood:  rushed
Topic: It's a good thing
The countdown has begun to the Hoover Bash. 20 hours to commencement. Yikes.

I love hosting parties, but I'm absolutely exhausted tonight. Having a hard time getting into the spirit of things right now. Thanks to my dearest, darlingest sister, though, my house is virtually clean! She sold out of every item in Santa's Workshop before noon today, shut it down and spent the rest of the day here, cleaning my filthy house with me. The woman dusts ceiling fans! Actually, "dusts" is the wrong term - she cleans, disinfects, deodorizes and God knows what else to those things! I am content to run a broom or feather duster over the blades to knock off the visible dust hanging from the edges, threatening to fall on an innocent bystander. Not my sister - she had me run a sink full of hot soapy water and then I suddenly became her Paper Towel Bitch, running back and forth while she cleaned my ceiling fans. Not complaining, just marvelling.

All I have to do tomorrow is clean the bathroom and do my baking/cooking. Paul is going to mop the kitchen and dining room, although he doesn't know it yet. He's in the living room, snoring rather loudly, possibly dreaming of submissive deer who walk towards you with bullseyes on their sides or perhaps about obsessively cleaning his stupid truck. I dunno about his dreams, but I do know that he agreed to help me out tomorrow and I AM holding him to it and he WILL mop that floor. How do I know this? I am a woman, that's how. Here's how I see it: We have no kids tomorrow night. They are spending the whole night with their Grammy With the Circle Head. He is going to want sex after our guests leave (certainly not while they are here, for those of you who will be here - don't freak out). If he does not mop the floor there will be no sex, even in the quiet, childless house. I have spoken. Shalom.

My gosh, but I love tapioca pudding. Sitting at the computer in your pj's, listening to Christmas music on the radio and eating tapioca pudding is pretty durn wonderful in my book.

The Diva has spoken at 10:46 PM CST

Saturday, December 11, 2004 - 10:45 AM CST

Name: Cousin Courtney aka Smalltown Starl

I can't wait for the party! And,Oh, you bet I will tell you all about the "tongue lashing from Hell"! See ya tonight.

Monday, December 13, 2004 - 3:37 PM CST

Name: Sychotic1

Have fun with the party and the childless house. Admittedly, I hate having parties at my house simply because of the cleaning part of which you speak.

I consider the house clean if there is no vermin or mold growing anywhere.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 - 9:25 AM CST

Name: Monkey
Home Page:

"If he does not mop the floor there will be no sex, even in the quiet, childless house. I have spoken. Shalom. "
YIKES! That boy best get to moppin' - in a quiet, childless house there MUST be sex!!!!
God I hope he mops like a fool!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 - 11:23 PM CST

Name: redneck-diva

That's normally my position on house-cleaning as well. But it was a party, so I had to like be all domestic and stuff.

I knew it had been bad when my mom came down the hall last night and said, "Kristin your bathroom looks really clean!" Obviously the status of my bathroom cleanliness (or lack thereof) had been bothering her. She was just stunned. I did not get her domestic abilities.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 - 11:24 PM CST

Name: redneck-diva

There was much mopping.

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