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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Tuesday, January 4, 2005
Before I head off to Dreamland, a post
Mood:  lazy
Topic: Go Super Mom, Go!
Well, I doubled my money playing electronic Blackjack last night. Then a few hours later lost it all. Gambling is a cold-hearted bitch sometimes.

We had a great time last night, though. Mom, Sis and I all hit the casino about the same time. We always meet up with Mom's friend, Bev, and her other friend, Angie. Heather and I obviously have no friends. Oh, wait a minute, Heather's friend, Melissa, met us out there, too. I am the one with no friends. Silly me for forgetting that one. And Angie won the 10:00 $500 drawing - go Angie! I had stuck a $10 in my pocket as I walked out the door, thinking I wouldn't use it to gamble on - just wanted to have some cash on me in case my car broke down on the way home and I had to bribe some passerby into helping me. Yah. Well, there are only like 10 RedBall machines in that entire Big Fancy Casino. Heck, the Not So Big and Not Quite as Fancy Casino has more than that! That is one aspect of Buffalo Run I am not happy with. Anyway, I kind of stalked those machines awhile, waiting for my chance to pounce upon an empty chair. Good machines are hard to come by before 10 on Ladies' Night anyway and especially harder to come by when there are only 10 of that particular machine. Finally, Sis asked this chick who was obviously just sitting there not playing if she was using the machine. She hatefully shot back, "I'm sitting here, aren't I?" Yikes, beyotch, step OFF. But soon the nice lady on the end caught my eye and asked if I wanted her machine. I thanked her and sat next to the hateful bitch and proceded to play my game. The machine makes noise when you Blackjack. Every time my machine would ring that woman would just about give herself whiplash looking to see what I had done. I got my original $10 up to $30 in a hurry. And you could see that with every thing in her she wanted to switch over and play it too, but her bitchy pride kept her from it. I was laughing inside. I was winning and she was not. It was a good thing. I played back down to $20 and figured that doubling my money in less than an hour and getting quite a bit of satisfaction in driving the woman next to me slowly insane was not a bad deal and cashed out.

Okay, the chairs are kind of higher chairs. Kind of like a barstool, but with a comfy chair cushion. I am a short person and my legs come nowhere near the ground when I'm sitting there. So to dismount, it takes a little wiggling and scooting to get to where I don't fall face-first onto the floor.

I KID YOU NOT, one foot was about 6 inches from the floor, I still had one butt-cheek still ON THE CHAIR and a woman sat in my chair. Talk about anxious. Of course, when I walked by her later, obviously stalking that machine again, she was up to $100, so I kind of understood her wanting to get right up on in there and start playing. It would've been really funny, though, if I had had the presence of mind to pretend I was tying my shoe or something. I never think that quick, though.

I ended up losing my free play shamefully in a series of slot-machine fiascos. I was down to a measley .86 and feeling pretty low. Heather found me a penny machine and I ended up getting up to $10, played down to $5 and headed home. Mom wanted the three of us to leave together because she said she had things for us in her car. I came home with $5 in my pocket, 3 hours of entertainment memories, including a nice conversation with Courtney, two boxes of Cookie Crisp cereal and a new container of Lysol wipes. I could've combatted anything on the way home last night - cold and flu germs, a raging case of the munchies, and $5 to bribe passersby if I had had car trouble.

Tonight we are getting more rain. It's delightful. Delightfully depressing in a sad kind of way. We've gotten roughly 47,000 inches of rain in the last 24 hours and Paul has started drawing up blue-prints for an ark. Good news, if that's possible, is that it's supposed to get miserably cold tomorrow night. It's not supposed to get any colder than 35 tomorrow, meaning that the rain will remain rain. BUT when it gets down to 17 tomorrow night, all that rain will freeze. And the temp on Thursday isn't supposed to get above freezing. We might at least get some ice out of the deal. Ice isn't snow, man, but it's cold and it has the potential of keeping my children out of school.

This means I can finally build that cakey village and watch as the Shortcake Crew once again foils that nasty bitch, Sour Grapes. There is hope.

I doubt I post tomorrow or the next day, friends. Tomorrow we'll drive to Tahlequah to await the entire day in the Cherokee Tribal Tag Office, in order to save roughly $800 on the truck tag. I'm thinking that after spending one whole day with my husband and my 3-year-old in a dismal tag office, that $800 would've been money well-spent on a regular tag. Then Thursday Sam has an eye doctor appointment in the am. He's started reversing some letters when he writes. I noticed it over Christmas break, but honestly, I ignored it. I figured he was being lazy and didn't say a word to him about it. Courtney told me today that he did it at school, plus he's been squinting. Abby started wearing glasses in Kindergarten, so it will not surprise me in the least if the doctor says his eyes are going to crap. They can thank their grandfather for those eyes. Heredity sucks. I got 'em too, kids. Then in the afternoon, we'll make YET ANOTHER trip to the dentist in Tulsa because THIS TIME one entire band to Ab's headgear seemingly slipped off her tooth. No, we didn't break it this time - the sucker just came unglued. How delightful. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it to even try the headgear. I mentioned this to Mom, complaining that it's been broken more than it hasn't since she had the thing installed. Mom said that already she could see a difference in her mouth and that she felt that, even though it's a hassle, it's worth it. Motherly advice is golden. She's my voice of reason through all the muddled crap streaming through my ears. She's my lighthouse in the foggy night of my life. She is the wind beneath my wings. Oh good Lord in Heaven, I just quoted a Bette Midler song. Someone shoot me. Please?

Please look back to the archives and peruse the wonderfullness of my past ramblings while I'm gone. Or feel free to ask me a question you've just been dying to know. Or something else silly like that. I dunno, entertain yourselves and report back to me by Friday. 1000 words or less, #2 pencil and fill in all circles completely.

The Diva has spoken at 10:39 PM CST
Updated: Tuesday, January 4, 2005 10:44 PM CST

Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 4:50 PM CST

Name: Little C

Seriously, you crack me up! Who knew that the daily happenings in the Hoover house would be so funny! I think your going to get to build your little cakey village. I am so happy for you, but do try to include the children in your fun.


Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 5:08 PM CST

Name: moos
Home Page:

The chair story is great. If you want to see folks get into a seat even quicker - try riding the subway in New York. On second thought, just take my word for it.

I'm 5'2" (on a good day if I'm standing straight), so I know the dangly leg thing firsthand. My feet never reached the floor on the buses in NY, they have those hard molded seats, so your (well, my) butt slides in & it's hard to sit on the edge of the seat... So I always felt like Edith Ann - who was waaay before your time...

Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 11:14 PM CST

Name: redneck-diva

So much for me getting to play Shortcakes, eh. Oklahoma weather sucks.

I'm glad I crack you up, though! It makes me warm and gushy to know that I made you laugh, giggle and possibly even titter? Titter...what a funny word.

Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 11:15 PM CST

Name: redneck-diva

One place I never want to go is a NYC subway. *shudder*

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