Topic: Things in life that suck
Being so incredibly tired and emotionally drained that you want to sleep - need to sleep - BUT because you have forty gazillion things on your mind you simply can't.
I put on my comfy pj's thinking that would relax me. It did. But not enough to sleep. I put in a scary movie (The Village) thinking that would well, scare me I guess. That's twisted thinking right there. I started to doze off at the beginning because frankly, it was a real bummer movie, if you want my opinion. But for some reason now, I'm wide awake. Last night I took two herbal sleeping pills because I was drained but antsy then too, and I slept really well. I guess I'm going to have to do that tonight as well. I need some rest. It's frustrating to be this tired and not be able to close your eyes and fall asleep.
We're keeping the kids home from school tomorrow. Paul's off on bereavement leave tomorrow and Friday. The kids are out of school on Friday anyway. We have had no routine or schedule, plus they're feeling a little neglected, I think. So we're going to keep them here with us. Ab's wanting to go to the funeral and I'm very torn as to whether to let her or not. She went to Paul's grandpa's funeral, but she was 4 and clueless. It was just a day to see cousins for her back then. Now she's 8 and has a concept of death and part of me thinks that if she wants to go, I should let her. Mom suggested taking her to the visitation tomorrow night and see how she handles that. Gosh, it's hard being a parent and trying to see ahead as to what might be okay for your child's delicate psyche or possibly detrimental. Especially when your own psyche is dented and frayed a little around the edges.
I'm just so tired.