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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Saturday, January 22, 2005
I hope to one day feel my toes again
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Rambling much
It's so cold that I haven't felt my toes since I went to bed last night. And then just now when I was unloading the dishwasher, I jerked out the top rack and, unbeknownst to me, there was a cup turned up, full of water. The jerking slung hot water halfway across my kitchen and up onto my leg and onto my slipper. Man, it felt good for awhile. That while has passed.

I got a paper shredder for Christmas. Now, we burn our trash, so I wasn't really too concerned about identity theft from my discarded junkmail, but still thought the paper shredder was way cool. Today I discovered a super awesome use for the strips of shredded paper. They make WONDERFUL fire starters!! Throw in a wadded up bunch of shredded paper, toss on some logs, stuff wadded up shredded paper all around the logs and set it ablaze. The kids wanted to make pillows with the shredded strips of paper, but I said, "Back off, ya thugs! That's MY shredded paper!"

Why would they want to make pillows with strips of shredded paper? You would get NO sleep what with the crunching. Those kids just do not think ahead.

Tonight we are having a cousin party at my house. Man, I am so excited. We are all anticipating it with much fervor and delight. That sounded very regal, didn't it? That's me, regal.

Our cousin, Stacey, is in from North Carolina. She and I WE SWEAR are twins or at least hmmm...cousins? Too many things we do alike. It's got us both a tad freaked. Yesterday she was going to give me her cell phone number. I didn't have any paper, so I grabbed my checkbook. Know that itty bitty border all around the calendars on the back of the register? That is seriously valuable note-writing space, people! As soon as I grabbed my checkbook and poised my pen over the itty bitty border Stacey said "OH MY GOSH! You do that too?" She's the only other person I know that uses that valuable space for note-writing. Unless y'all are just closet itty bitty space on the checkbook note writers.

Yesterday was my birthday ya know. I'm all of 32 now. Yeah, whoo hoo. Paul, Sis, Bub and I all went out to make the birthday rounds at the casinos for my $75 free birthday money. I got $10 at the first place, played for 30 minutes and walked out with $10.04. Already I was .04 up. What would the rest of the evening behold, I wondered. At the second place I got $20 and walked out with $15 more. Next place, I walked out with $39 more. At the next place I walked out with $7.55 more. At the next place, the Unhappiest Casino in the World, I blew it all quickly because the vibes were bad in that place. Then we finished the evening at the Big Fancy Casino, where I got $10, played on it awhile, put in a $5 of my own money, got it up to $15, cashed that out and then put in another $5, lost it. There was more gambling after that, but I was tired and kept trying to keep accurate account records at that point. All told, when I walked into my house last night and emptied my pockets I had $61 and about $2 in change. Not too bad considering I only put $2 of my own not free money in the machines all night.

But the best part of the birthday was when Courtney called to tell me that SHE GOT US FOURTH ROW CENTER TICKETS TO THE TRACE ADKINS CONCERT AT THE BIG FANCY CASINO IN FEBRUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm excited, if you can't tell by the gratuitous overuse of exclamation points. I figured I'd used my birthday winnings to pay her, but Paul said that since he hadn't gotten my present yet, and IF I was okay with him not getting me the DVD of Napoleon Dynamite, he would buy the tickets. Total score!

Of course, now he's mad at me for speaking to a man who was sitting at a machine next to me whilst gambling last night. Glad he offered to pay for the tickets before that happened. I asked him this morning just how long his jealous self planned on not speaking to me and he said, "Eh, probably a month, if not two." He sounded like he meant it. Hey, he doesn't have to talk to me as long as he pays for those tickets.

The Diva has spoken at 2:57 PM CST

Saturday, January 22, 2005 - 6:41 PM CST

Name: Monkey
Home Page:

I HATE when there's a glass upside-down in the dishwasher! Arrghh!
True - the shredded paper pillows - too noisy!
Happy belated birthday to you!!!
The big 32!!
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to Redneck Divaaaaaa
Happy Birthday to you!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 12:19 PM CST

Name: Jessica


I'm back!!! My maternity leave ended yesterday and I'm back at work again. Catching up on some "Redneck Diva" I came across this entry with the itty-bitty check space writing - I DO THAT, TOO! I never carry scratch paper around with me, I'm lucky I carry a pen for cryin' out loud!

Happy, happy belated birthday...glad to be back to my redneck diva blog!!!


Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 8:58 PM CST

Name: Diva

You sang to me, friend Monkey - I am blushing!

Okay, so I'm NOT the only one who gets utterly pissed off when I find dishes out of their assigned seats in the dishwasher!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 9:02 PM CST

Name: Diva

Oh my gosh!! I was wondering where the heck you were! You think that just because you had a baby and all that you have an excuse to drop out of blog-dom? Get with it, girl! JUST KIDDING!

Ah, so someone else is a itty bitty space on the back of the checkbook writing as well. We are few, my friend.

Glad to see you back around and I wanna hear all about that baby!!!

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