Topic: All in the family
I found out last night that bowel movements are very very important to virtually all Glenns - not just me. Who knew.
We laughed our asses off last night. Oh gosh, we laughed. Stacey, the cousin from NC, brought her precious, quiet little husband who was meeting us all for the first time. The look on that poor boy's face when my mother grabbed him in a full frontal hug was absolutely a Kodak moment. He probably didn't say 50 words all night, while the rest of us laughed, guffawed, hoohawed, told embarrassing stories and just generally were loud and boisterous. Of course, I don't think my Paul said that many words either. At one point, I looked over at them both and said, "I bet you both are regretting marrying into this mess, huh?" And Larry, in his quiet Southern drawl said, "I'm just thinking this explains so much."
Stacey and I are bound by some inexplicable Glenn connection and quite frankly, we are both more than a little disturbed by it. As the evening wore on, the rest of the family became disturbed with it as well. The TV dinner brownies that get all hard and crusty around the edges - our favorites. Quiet husbands, naturally curly hair - we both got 'em. Clumsiness, which I prefer to call our own special style of grace - we're both clutzes. Either Heather or Courtney asked her, "Stacey, have you ever had the urge to drive in a demolition derby?" The room grew quiet in anticipation of her answer. When she said, "Actually, yes," we all exploded into laughter.
Uncle David started telling a story about when he lived in Nebraska and a woodpecker got into his house. Uncle David is petrified of birds. And also, Uncle David is one of the most Godly men you will ever meet. We were afraid after some of the tales of our drunken youth that his ears might begin bleeding. His purity was in danger. Well, after about 4 hours with us, he joined in, in his own way. Okay, so this woodpecker flew into his house and in the midst of his terror he called the cats, thinking they would take care of the invading bird. Well, the bird was hanging on the window facing and the cats couldn't get up there. So Uncle David said, "I threw up the cats." Now, at those words "I threw up the cats" we all collapsed into a cacophony of hysterical, rib splitting, stomach hurting laughter. Cousin Keith said, "He threw two pussies at a pecker!" and we got tickled all over again. He said the bird's beak was "this long" and held his hands up about 8 inches apart. Mom, very dryly said, "Agh, just like a man to exaggerate the size of the pecker." Again, the laughter. It was like that all night. It got worse the more tired we got.
We all so very needed last night. Family laughing together, sharing together and being Glenns and living in Oklahoma, we had to eat together, of course! If laughter really does add years to your life, after last night's comedy, we'll all live to be 150.
Everyone started yawning and we knew Stacey and Larry needed to get some sleep since they're driving back to NC today and I said I wanted to get a group picture. I handed Paul the camera, but then in realized that he'd be the only one not in the picture. Then I remembered that my camera has a timer. I sat it on the mantle and the first picture we all looked like midgets, it was so far away. The next one I cut off Larry and Uncle David. Finally it worked. So the group scattered and I said, "Stacey and Larry, I'd like to get one of just you two." Cousin Keith, in his Queer Eye voice, said "Fine, beyotch! I. am. OUTTA. here!"
and stomped toward the door. Again, the laughter.
Oh the laughter.