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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Just take your lower lip and pull it over your head...
Mood:  hug me
Topic: Things in life that suck
I couldn't tell you the last time I got a canker sore on the inside of my mouth (Duh, Diva - where else do you get canker sores?) but it's been a long damn time. It hurts.

Last night it got to be too much and I ended up pilfering through the medicine cabinet in search of the tube of Baby Orajel I used to keep in the diaper bag. It's been ages since I even carried a diaper bag, but I couldn't find an expiration date on it, so I guess it's still good.

Now I know why my children would scream uncontrollably when I'd smear that crap on their sore little gums! If you produce any saliva at all while the orajel is in your mouth (and you will, trust me) it is dispersed through your entire mouth. My tongue was numb, yet incredibly achey sore all at the same time! It was not a pleasant feeling. And forget about rinsing it out with water. Oh no, they make sure that shit stays in the mouth once it's deposited there, even if it doesn't stay in the exact spot you smear it.

Once I could sense the feeling coming back to my tongue I figured that the pain from the sore would come back as well, but fortunately it continued to numb the boo boo throbbing inside my lower lip.

Today I got smart, or so I thought, and put the orajel on a q-tip and then applied it. That didn't work. I tried it again. Still, no relief. Finally, I steeled myself for the total mouth numbing I was about to experience and squirted a buttload of that crap inside my lower lip. I looked like I had a chew in, but man I felt nothing for about 30 minutes. Nothing. I think even my knees were numbed.

The Diva has spoken at 5:26 PM CST
Updated: Sunday, January 23, 2005 5:35 PM CST

Monday, January 24, 2005 - 9:39 PM CST

Name: typhaniee

at least your sore is on the inside of your lip. My fever blister is HUGE.
I'm the worst friend ever. I'm sorry.

Monday, January 24, 2005 - 10:19 PM CST

Name: Monkey
Home Page:

I'm able to say luckily that I've never had a canker sore - gosh they sound like a real pain!
I hope it disappears TONIGHT as you sleep!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 11:58 AM CST

Name: moos
Home Page:

Try Gly-Oxide - it's for any kind of mouth/gum problem. It's an expensive little thing - but it lasts forever. And it doesn't burn. But it does fizz (think peroxide). You put a couple of drops in & swish it around. Very soothing...

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 9:09 PM CST

Name: Diva

Ugh! I haven't had a fever blister since junior high! Those things are awful. Of course, at this point the canker sore taking over the inside of my lip is so painful I'd rather have a freaking tumor on my face if it didn't hurt!

You are NOT the worst friend ever. Stop saying things like that - it makes me feel horrible! I wish I could fix all the wrong things in your life right now, sweetie. Just know I love you, k?

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 9:11 PM CST

Name: Diva

Thanks, friend Monkey, but unfortunately the massive blister o' pain is still residing right inside my lower lip. . .*sigh*. . .throbbing and stinging and making ketchup a bad bad thing.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 9:14 PM CST

Name: Diva

I have actually used Gly-Oxide before and it is wonderful stuff. I remembered it right after the Orajel episode, lol. But the last time I used it was when I still lived at home with Mom and I have none here and I didn't think about it when I went to WalMart yesterday and well, crap I'm about ready to perform a lip-ectomy! Gotta get the Gly-Oxide tomorrow...

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