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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: Kids & other noisy things
Ohhhhh, if we manage to raise these children without them ending up completely warped it's going to be a miracle.

As I mentioned maybe a week or so ago, I've been a little on the randy side lately. (Sorry if this embarrasses you, Cousin Keith - but keep reading. Trust me, it's funny.) Also keep in mind that since early 2001, our bedroom has been at the completely opposite end of the house from the children. We haven't really had to worry about ahem...noise. Well, now our bedroom is directly across the hall from the kids' rooms. I'm still in an adjustment phase, I guess. Tonight we were having a family dinner, which has been rare around here lately. I was basking in the glow of looking around the table and seeing my darling little family, enjoying a really good steak, when out of the blue Ab says, "I can hear you guys talking in your room at night." Paul and I both stopped our forks in mid-air and stared at each other, then turned to her. I know I turned 40 shades of red. Paul got this smirky grin on his face and asked, "Oh yeah? Well, tell me, Miss Abby, what do we say?" She kind of shrugged non-chalantly said, "Eh, nothing I can really understand. It's usually just Mom's voice. The other night she got kinda loud. Were you fighting?" It was all I could do to keep from just bursting into either laughter or tears. I looked down at my plate, trying to decide if I was amused or mortified. When I looked up, directly across the table from me is my ornery husband with a look of pure mischief on his face. While locking eyes with me he says, "No, Ab, your mom and I weren't fighting. We were just having a conversation. And if I remember correctly it was a pretty good one." My eyes widened, I was shocked he was being so blatant at trying to mortify me. I didn't say anything. I couldn't. It got very quiet in the dining room. Finally Sam goes, "Man! I never get to hear their conversations!! What were you talking about?" Paul opened his mouth and I just cut him off with "Nothing! Hey, buddy, you better eat. Tonight 'Lost' is on and you don't wanna miss that!"

So all evening I have had to endure my husband making comments like "Hey, when are we going to have a conversation again, huh?" and "Man, I'm tired. Let's go to bed and have a conversation."

I think my randy spell is over.

The Diva has spoken at 10:56 PM CST

Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 9:52 AM CST

Name: Jessica

I am pissing my pants over this story this morning! I can only imagine the things my kids will say when they get older. Our room is in between both of their rooms and our bed is up against the wall that our son's bed is up against on the other side of that wall!

Our three-year old actually did walk in on us a couple weekends ago while we were being *frisky* and boy was that a trip. Loud as can be he walked in said "morning mommy and daddy...I waked up!" Needless to say, we were not expecting him to be up so early and neither one of us heard him get up, what with all that *conversation* going on! :)

Love your stories, Diva! They lift me up on a day like today!!

Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 10:42 AM CST

Name: Diva

LMAO!! He "waked up" eh? Man, none of our kids have ever actually walked in on us yet, but I figure it's just a matter of time. Of course, I never walked in on my parents when I was a kid unless...unless they were just really good at hiding it...iew.....bad bad mental picture. Great, now I'm gonna have THAT in my head all day! :-)

Have a good day, dear! Glad my conversation about "conversation" made you laugh! If we can't laugh, we'll just cry, right?

Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 11:04 AM CST

Name: Tiff

Poor Sam, if he only knew he'd be the one
turning 50 shades of red!!! When Tristan was
little he would make moaning sounds b/c he
heard his mom and dad one nite in the motel
room that they all SHARED! It was so funny.
He'd go Ahhhhh mommy says that.
Ahh kids!

Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 4:25 PM CST

Name: Courtney
Home Page:

You know that every night your kids are going to be sitting outside your door with cups to their little ears, right.

Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 11:20 PM CST

Name: Diva

They did it with him in the room????????? Nuh UH!! *shudder*

Oh my gosh, the moaning sounds like something KD would do. How hilarious!

Thursday, January 27, 2005 - 11:21 PM CST

Name: Diva

Conversation will never be the same around here again...

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