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The Ramblings of a Redneck Diva
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Remember when I said...
Mood:  spacey
...this morning that my life was perfect?

I really need to clarify something:

3 screaming children is not perfect.
3 children running about the house like they have been smoking crack is not perfect.
Being a hunting widow is not perfect.
The fact that it's 9 minutes till 7:30pm and I am just waiting for the clock to strike the half hour so that I can justify putting my kids to bed is not perfect.
The fact that I have developed a quirky little twitch on the left side of my face that occurs every time my son screams in such a pitch that the neighborhood dogs begin barking is not perfect.
3 children "pretending they are babies" and have decided you are their "mommy" and they are now sitting at your feet talking baby talk and drooling on your legs is not perfect.

Just thought I'd clarify.

The Diva has spoken at 7:24 PM CDT
Great.... I'm a freaking wimp
Mannnnnnn...I guess this "bad girl/biker bitch/redneck woman/naughty housewife" image isn't working eh?





You Are Not Scary

Not Scary!

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?




The Diva has spoken at 11:15 AM CDT
What to wear




You Should Be a Girl Scout for Halloween!

You Should Be a Girl Scout for Halloween!





Yeah, yeah...whatever. That just isn't much fun. I wanna go as Super Mom - think they make capes in hot purple with glitter and sequins?

The Diva has spoken at 11:06 AM CDT
What kind
You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.
I found this link over at David's blog and thought I'd give it a whirl. It pretty much told me what I already knew though. You, too, I'm sure.

The Diva has spoken at 10:51 AM CDT
Too much of a good thing is a good thing
Mood:  happy
Wow.

I'm sitting at my computer desk in my office. I'm still in my pj's, savoring the last cup of coffee and rather enjoying it. My youngest child is finally getting to wear her "fluffy shirt" that she's been begging to wear for a week but it's been too hot. She's content now. Her hair isn't fixed and she's even more content about that. My son has folded himself entirely into the laundry hamper in my bedroom and thinks no one knows where he is. He says a word or two every now and then, thinking he's giving us a grand hint as to his whereabouts. He's occupied and relatively quiet (for him anyway). I just heard happy squeals from the living room and when I turned around the look, oldest daughter was snuggling in next to her daddy, who in a rare moment of affection, put his arm around her and she cuddled in even more. They're looking over last year's school yearbook, she's curled up next to him and he's resting his chin on her head.

Upon seeing this scene unfolding right before my eyes I was just so completely overcome with emotion. This is perfect. We have a really messy house right now, the yard is covered in leaves, the kids' rooms are disasters, I desperately need to mop and pay some bills, my van looks like a family of gypsies has taken it over and are living in it as I type, my dog steals toys and other items off of the neighbor's porch, we are drowning in debt, my husband hates his job and I hate it that he hates his job. Yet...in the midst of all that, deep down...

Things are perfect.

The Diva has spoken at 10:46 AM CDT
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Dental Drama, Part Deux
Mood:  incredulous
Well, we came home from Tulsa yesterday with no headgear. All they did was fit her bands, not actually install them. I was more than a little put out about this, lemme tell ya. When they did all of Sam's pre-appliance preparations they did it all in one day. They did x-rays, impressions and fit his bands all at once. THEN called us back for the installing.But oh noooo, not Abby, heavens no...they had to make us divide it up into TWO appointments! Have you SEEN the price of gas lately? It took half a tank of gas to go there and back yesterday, thereby using up nearly $25 in gas. And it wasn't that I just misunderstood either. The receptionist was under the same impression I was. We were both miffed when I checked out. She apologized all over the place and I really did appreciate that, even though it wasn't technically her fault.

Of course, Ab was thrilled that she didn't get it because her slumber party is tomorrow night and she didn't want to have to wear it for that. Plus Halloween is next week and she was worried I'd make her wear it in public, although I've SWORN to her I would never do that. Anyway, I was pissed, she was thrilled. Which seems to be how the two of us operate lately: she's one extreme, I'm the other. Can you imagine how it's going to be when she's a teenager?

Did anyone ever find any 55-gallon drums of Calgon??

The Diva has spoken at 8:55 AM CDT
Updated: Thursday, October 21, 2004 8:58 AM CDT
SPOON!
Mood:  happy
(Did anyone else ever watch The Tick or was it just me and my brother in law?)

Annnnnnyway...

We cut open some persimmon seeds the other night and found spoons. "Dear Diva, why did you do such a silly thing?" you may be asking. Well, I'm glad you asked, actually. It's said that the seeds of a persimmon actually will predict the kind of weather we will have in the coming months. If you cut them open and find a fork, it's going to be dry (I've personally never seen the seeds show a fork). If you find a knife we're going to have a winter with lots of ice, the knife thus saying you'll have to cut the ice with a knife. Or something like that. If you find a spoon in your persimmon seed, it means you'll be shovelling a lot of SNOW! YES! SNOW!!!!!!!!!! Now, I grew up in this area and have lived here my whole life. EVeryone around here believes this and so far I've never seen it NOT be true. The pictures I took are of the seeds when they were a few days old and kind of shrivelled up, but I hope you can still get the general idea of what it shows. I know it looks like knives, but trust me, it WAS spoons when we first did it! And yes, I know the picture is crappy, too. I had the setting wrong on my camera and didn't realize just how bad the pics were until after I threw the seeds away. Oh well, anyway, TRUST ME, people!




SPOON!

The Diva has spoken at 8:40 AM CDT
Updated: Thursday, October 21, 2004 8:45 AM CDT
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Get your tickets to the Mouse-capades! Coming soon to a bathroom near you!
Mood:  silly
Well, like Collin, I think my karma is doomed.

I had the kids settled in at the breakfast table this morning and decided that I had a moment to actually pee by myself, so I took off down the hall. When I flipped on the light what did I find but an adorable little gray mouse running in circles on the bathroom rug! I don't know if the poor guy had some sort of seizure disorder and the light threw him into a fit or what, but he was literally just running in circles on the rug. Of course, upon seeing the rodent I screamed "SH*T" and did a funny little backstepping dance out into the hall. But the mouse didn't run out with me. So I peeked back in to find him still running around. He'd do a few circles, run under the potty chair, back to the rug to circle a few times, run toward the toilet, then back to the rug. It really was rather amusing, I must say. But still, I don't like mice nor do I want them in my home, so I - in my best stage whisper - called to Ab and said, "Go wake up your daddy and tell him to bring the broom!" Upon hearing that, Sam yells from the breakfast table, "COOL!! MOMMMMMMM!! If it's a scorpion it's MINE!" I, with my eyes still on the drunken mouse, said, "Sorry son, it's just a mouse." Well, I then hear chairs scooting on the kitchen floor and two little boys running toward me. By this time the mouse had tired of his little game, which I'm sure was making him nauseous, and decided to vary his path, bringing him directly at me. I stomped, bound and determined to keep him in that bathroom. Well, he ran under the cabinet lip thingy and I thought that surely he had a hole there and was going to escape, but no he just sat there and cowered. By now I'm starting to feel really sorry for our epileptic rodent friend, but then here comes husband down the hall, in his underwear, with the broom in hand. Cussing me, mind you.
"Dammit, Kristin! I was asleep! WHY did I have to bring you the broom?"
"A MOUSE, dear!"
(mocking me) "A mouse, dear."
SMACK
A chorus of "IIIIEEEWWWWW's" from the kids and the deed is done. He then picks up the twitching critter by the tail and is going to give our new kitten an early morning treat. Sam of course, sees the twitching and says, "If it's still alive can we keep it??" Paul opens the front door only to have headlights glare in at us. Remember, he's in his underwear, lol. He says, "Oh CRAP! Who's that?" I busted out laughing and said, "Oh just my sister." So now he's tearing through the house in his skivvies still carrying the darn mouse by the tail. Well, when the van stopped and I realized it was not Sis but Bub instead, I gave Paul the all-clear and out the back door he went to feed the kitty.

Now, my question is this: Since I was just the one who gave up the poor little guy to the broom-wielding husband and not the actual broom-wielder, does that still pretty much screw up my chances of good karma forevermore?

The Diva has spoken at 10:55 PM CDT
Monday, October 18, 2004
Dental Drama
Mood:  suave
Today while I was in town I got a call from the kids' dentist. Abby is supposed to get her headgear installed on Wednesday and she's on "Pre-Op Med" alert at the dentist's office. When she was 5, the PA noticed several times in a row that she had a funny sound in her heart. Not really a murmur but a "click". After hearing it consistently she referred us on to a pediatric cardiologist. You wanna talk about scary. I'm a little neurotic anyway when it comes to actually being referred out of the cozy little doctor's office you're comfortable with and into the exam room of a specialist you know nothing of, only that he comes highly regarded in "your situation". Well, sure enough, she had a click alright. The aortic valve in the heart is supposed to have 3 little flaps that open when the blood is whooshing through, making it look somewhat like a peace symbol

(Pardon the crappy illlustrations, lol)

In Abby's case, two of the flaps were stuck together making it a "bi-cuspid" valve instead of "tri-cuspid" as it should've been. Like this:


So the diagnosis was that her heart was healthy, per se, just a little different. We told her she had a "special" heart and she was completely fine with that. In fact, she has used it several times in arguments with her brother, shouting "Yeah, well I've got a special heart and you don't!" The only thing we had to do regarding her condition was to make sure she had pre-op or pre-procedure antibiotics before any kind of "dirty" procedure, ie dental work, because she was at risk of Bacterial Endocarditis. Wow. All of the sudden I was aware that there was bacteria out to attack my daughter's special heart! I was pregnant at the time, so I was a little on edge, k? :-)

So a year later we took her back to the cardiologist and boom, we have a normal heart. It was spontaneously healed. An ultrasound of the heart laid it all right out there - it was completely normal. She was clearly disappointed at the knowlege, though. She wanted that "special heart", doggonit. But when we told her that God had healed her, well, that brought on more pride and uniqueness. The doctor wanted to go ahead and
keep her on pre-op meds for another 2 years when she would then see her again to re-check the valve. This hasn't been a big issue, we just inform the dentist and they write her a scrip for a bunch of amoxicillin and she has dental work then throws up the antibiotics later. It's grand fun, lemme tell ya.

Today, though, I get the call and they tell me that they might not even be able to fit her for her bands and install the headgear. Period. Holy crap, we're discovering this 2 days before we're scheduled to have it done???? But thankfully, the cardiologist gave her the all-clear and on Wednesday she will get her 1000mg of amoxicillin on the way to Tulsa, she will get her bands fit and walk out in a headgear, then she will undoubtedly throw up on the way home.

The Diva has spoken at 7:40 PM CDT
Sunday, October 17, 2004
I have no clue what to title this. I'm too tired to think.
Mood:  not sure
We were up late last night with the whole deer adventure. Actually at about 11:30 I was in bed, tired of waiting on husband to finish his deer-hanging. I think he came to bed well after midnight. Dummy. We actually slept till nearly 8 this morning, which is pretty late for us. I guess Sam, the only person in the family who gets up as early as I do, woke up earlier than that, but bless his heart, he got some books and read them in his room. What a kid.

Normally on his day off, husband won't drag his rear outta bed till at least 10. MUST BE NICE. Anyway, he got up when I did at 7:45. I was shocked. I said, "What in the world are YOU doing up now?" OOh friends and neighbors, he was all kinds of on fire, getting dressed and all that in a hurry. He stopped in the middle of his flurry and said, "Well, my gosh woman, I have to take the deer to the processor!" like I was the stupidest person to ever draw breath. See where the motivation lies? I won't get started. Grrrrr...

We went to Wyandotte for the 4x4 rally, scoring some really cool t-shirts for the 5 of us
and getting to see some awesome 4x4 action. We started out at the top of the hill and walked allllll the way down it to see some serious Jeep vertical climbing. Wow, those guys are crazy! It was virtually a completely vertical climb and they were going at it like they were on fire. Some had to wench it up, but they were still impressive. I guess we just missed getting to see a complete roll-over down the climb. Darn that luck. Sam was totally at home, sitting there watching and cheering absolutely mesmerized. Kady was tired and could've cared less about it. Abby was so not impressed it was pathetic. She was hot, she was dusty, it was loud, she was tired, she didn't want to walk up the hill, she wanted to sit down, she had a spider on her, she didn't like trees...OH MY GOSH she was a brat. But walk up that hill we did and she griped the entire time.

We drove out to the Tough Truck track (which they were still building when we got there) loading about 6 or 7 kids and about 8 adults into our truck cab and bed to drive clear into the deep, dark middle of BFE. I started out sitting on the side of the bed, but one big bump and I could envision myself being strapped to a backboard, dying not of injuries but of mortification, so I slid down into the bed, parking my butt right over a big ol' dried deer blood stain. Mmm hmm...these are good times. We watched some cool truck running today and saw a really good roll-over. The only bad thing about the roll-over was that his little boy was watching and it nearly freaked the kid out, bless his heart. Prime reason my kids will never see me drive derby. Anyway, we choked on some massive amounts of dust before it was all over, but man was it fun. I got to meet Dewayne, the owner of the Bunker and all things D-Day, and after we talked awhile he said, "Ohhh so you're the one that just drove in a demo derby not too long ago, right? Girl, I heard you did a damn good job and kicked some serious ass!" Ahh, my fans preceded me.

I saw my very first mud-run today, too. Talk about insanity at it's finest. An enormous pit full of mud and you voluntarily drive your 4WD through it. This is something I could get into. I want to do an ATV mud run and I guarantee you right here and now if they bring one to Miami again I WILL run our 4-wheeler in it. The kids enjoyed watching the mud runs and we got slung with mud more than once. Silly people watching, though...they all had mud on their backs because when the trucks would go by they'd all turn around. Man, not me! If I'm going to stand out here to watch a mud run, by golly I'm WATCHING the mud run! I have mud all over my front side, in my hair and had it on my face and glasses. Yeah, buddy. Kady got a big ol' glob smacked onto her forehead. She crinkled up her nose, looked at me and said, "Ooh Momma, me got mud on me fow-head! Get it AWF!!" Ahh, she has so much to learn. Abby of course squealed and ran. Sam wanted more, lol.

Upon hearing me relate this story, my friend Trishia told me that she was now officially concerned about me. She said, "Kristin, my friend...dirt? On your body? And you're okay with that? I remember a time when dirt was the enemy. What. Has. Happened. To. You. Girl?"


The Diva has spoken at 9:57 PM CDT
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Mm Mm Good!
Mood:  incredulous
It's 11pm.

Husbands #1 and #2 are outside in my barn.

What are they doing? So glad you asked.

Stringing up a dead deer. (As opposed to stringing up a live one which just gets messy.)

Did I mention they're stringing up a deer?? IN my barn?

Did I also mention how they came into posession of aforementioned deer?

No, I don't believe I did.

Glad you asked that one, too.

Here's the answer:

Roadkill Stew anyone?

The Diva has spoken at 11:08 PM CDT
Friday, October 15, 2004
Good-bye sucks
Mood:  blue
We had dinner with John and Tiff tonight because they are moving tomorrow. I've known it was coming but it's kind of blindsided me and I'm sadder than hell tonight. Fortunately I was pretty busy today running the Mom Taxi and my mind wasn't allowed to dwell on it, but it just really is weighing on me now. I'm tired, too, and that always makes things seem worse. I know, she's not moving to the end of the earth, just an hour and a half away, but it might as well be the other side of the world. It seems so far tonight.

Tiff is 10 1/2 years younger than me and if you'd told me a year ago that I'd be BFF (That is totally a JOKE between the two of us - please don't think I'm that big of a dork.) with a girl that much younger than me I'd have called you not only a liar, but a stinkin' liar. But boom, she waltzed into my life after church one Sunday and has now found herself a happy little home here. We share the same religious views (ugh, lonnnng story), have an eerie sense of ESP with each other, laugh at each other's stupid jokes and get the really obscure ones no one else gets and just generally feel comfortable with each other. She loves my kids unconditionally, even if they do drive her bonkers sometimes and I cannot WAIT till she has some of her own so I can load them up with sugar and caffeine and send them back to her. It's what friends do. She loves me so much she brought her dressed-up butt to the demolition derby, not even knowing what one WAS, to video it for me. She makes fun of me when I do stupid stuff to "lose all my coolness points" but not in a mean way, just a "oh girlfriend you are such a nerd" kind of way. She also reminds me that some of the words I use are on loan from the 80's and they would probably like them back - and soon. She's listened to me vent, rant and whine and I've done the same for her.

Good friends are hard to come by. I am so blessed to have a mom and sister who go far beyond the definition of friend and wouldn't trade them for anything, but ya know, I was born into their lives. Tiff took me on voluntarily, lol.

Tiff, when you read this - and you know you will because you secretly read my blog and you just won't admit it - I love you, sis, with all my heart and I thank God for you every day. Now, go make some babies, girl!!!! Aunt Kiki is just itchin' for more kids to spoil rotten!

The Diva has spoken at 11:01 PM CDT
Thursday, October 14, 2004
And now for the holidays
Mood:  party time!
Good heavens it's the middle of October and I have virtually every weekend from now till Christmas full. I'm not kidding!

This weekend: Abby's spending the night with a girlfriend and will be home on Saturday. Saturday Paul is going to The Bunker for the mud runs, trail runs, etc. Sunday we're all going to see Andy race his Tough Truck.
Next weekend: The kids are on Fall Break next Thursday and Friday. Friday is Cheerleading Camp for Abby then we're making up the postponed slumber party.
Last weekend in October: We'll go trick or treating on Saturday afternoon and I'm hoping to finagle an invitation to a grown-up Halloween party at one of the college recruiter's house, HINT HINT anyone who has a say in this... Then Sunday is Gentry's birthday party.
First weekend in November: I, alone, am going Christmas shopping for nearly 3 glorious days. All by myself, nothing but me, a motel room, lots of outlet malls and specialty stores and my Discover card. Oh and possibly some liquor. Ah, life is good.
The next weekend: We're going to have Sam's birthday slumber party a week early (because my whole family will be in Florida the weekend before Thanksgiving).
Weekend before Thanksgiving is actually free right now. Unbelievable. But this is only because my entire family will be spending Turkey Day with Mickey, Minnie and a herd of Disney Princesses.
Thanksgiving weekend: We'll probably end up at some of our dysfunctional extended family's houses at some point.
First weekend in December: Christmas parade which means that at least 2, if not 3, of my kids will be on various floats and what have ya.
2nd weekend in December:Saturday night is the HOOVER CHRISTMAS BASH. Yes, it's a rather big deal. Sunday we're going to Branson to Silver Dollar City to see the Christmas lights. All 10 of us: 2 vehicles, 5 children, 3 women, 2 men (who despise SDC) and lots of holiday cheer!
Weekend before Christmas: Kady's 3rd birthday.

Somewhere in there I have to decorate the house, hold Girl Scout meetings, run the Mom Taxi, wrap and hide presents, bake, cook, drink heavily...yep, that about covers it. Gotta love the holidays!

The Diva has spoken at 10:51 PM CDT
Brrrrr
Mood:  caffeinated
I just had a cup of coffe - it's 10:30pm - and I'm rarin' to go. Whoo hoo, love this late-night, caffeine-fueled bloggin'.

LOL...I've been a little consumed with closets and winter clothes lately and the rest of the house has, well quite frankly, gone to crap. I have washed two large loads of bleach whites - socks, underwear, washcloths, etc. - and just haven't had the time to sit down and fold and/or pair them all. So one load has sat piled in the laundry basket for over a week. The kids don't even look in their drawers anymore, they go directly to the basket. Well, this morning I washed the second load. In order to have room in the basket for them I had to dump the first load onto my bed (which was made - at least you gotta gimme that) and then sat the basket on the bed. My hope was that I'd get a chance today to fold them while I watched a little TV or something. Nope. Nuh uh. Didn't happen. Just a few minutes ago Paul dumped the contents of the basket onto the bed as well, so pretty much the bed was covered in laundry. Being the lazy sot I am, I was just going to haul it all into the living room and pile it on the couch, but my darling husband has a better approach. He stuffed the entire two loads into one very small laundry basket, thus making what looks like a cupcake o' laundry. I heard him laugh while I was typing, turned around and did the ol' standard "BAH!" as I watched him slowly carry the laundry cupcake to the bay window. I bet those are the most wrinkled underwear ever. Good thing I've got a big butt and at least mine will be stretched out.

The Diva has spoken at 10:37 PM CDT
Kerfuffle
Mood:  a-ok
Well, poo I just lost a whole entire page of rambling. Hate it when Tripod hiccups like that.

Okay, first of all take a look at what I found in my bedroom floor this morning:


Now I'm not sure yet as to whether one of the kids was playing with it last night and it just got left there or whether a certain husband that I live with planted the reptilian decoy to scare his charming, albeit a little edgy, wife. I will find out, though. Trust me on this one. For those of you who are just joining in on my adventures, there is a lizard living in my bedroom somewhere. No, he's not a pet, he just decided to take up residence here. I do not like the lizard. I actually can say I loathe the lizard. He's harmless, but still...it's a freaking LIZARD people! I have set out numerous sticky traps, but he's obviously a smart lizard and won't go near 'em. So anyway, I discovered the fake lizard belly-up this morning when I....btw, have I mentioned before that I am a clutz? Keep this fact in mind while you read... Okay, so I'm walking from my bedroom to the utility room and on the way I had to walk by a box that was covered in wire hangers (I've been cleaning out closets). As I walked by, the hem of my nightshirt caught on one of these hangers, thereby causing the kerfuffle. Imagine, if you will, me walking along, dragging a growing chain of wire hangers with my nightshirt. Have you ever put scotch tape on a cat's paws and watched them have a seizure as they try to flick it off? Well, that's kind of what I'm sure I looked like this morning, shaking my leg and trying to release the offending damn hangers. FInally I got it to let go and as I bent down to gather up the mess my eyes locked on the stupid plastic lizard. Oh the screaming. Almost as loud as when I first discovered the real lizard - you know, the time he actually ended up under one of my bare feet and we were formally introduced. Yeah, that time. Of course, upon further investigation I realized he wasn't real, but still...agh, I hate lizards.

And you know when I grabbed the camera to take a picture I thought, "Ya know...what if he really is real and only sleeping or possibly playing lizard-possum and the flash of the camera wakes him up?" Well, I'll just answer my own question...

You would have ended up reading a story about a lizard that drowned in pee.

That, friends and neighbors, is the truth.

The Diva has spoken at 9:23 AM CDT
I have a theory...
Mood:  quizzical
Okay, on Dora the Explorer...I've decided that that silly Swiper the Sneaky Fox is just craving some positive attention. That pesky kid and her hyperactive monkey are always yelling at him, telling him no and giving him nothing but negative reinforcement for his actions. If you'll think back to an episode where they made "cowboy cookies" and at the end actually gave Swiper a cookie - well, friends and neighbors...it made that poor fox's day! See, if they'd show him a little love he'd quit with the swiping. I'm sure of it.

The Diva has spoken at 8:09 AM CDT
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Some pictures for y'all
Mood:  silly
Okay, this first picture is the view out my front door, right on the front porch. I consider this, David, a place of beauty around here. We have 40 acres out here, some of it pasture, but some of it wooded. Out front, right before the woods is a pond and the view that direction, no matter what season, is always spectacular. In the Summer you can see the heat shimmering, the ducks swimming and even though I'm not a fan of summer I still like the view. Spring of course, is green and the trees are full of green leaves. Fall is amazing with the trees turned all kinds of colors -it's my favorite. Although, in this picture the colors aren't that fantastic - too dry of a summer, I'm afraid. But Winter out my front window...Winter is the best. When I saw the house for the first time with the realtor, she said she had shown in during the winter once as it was starting to snow and she said it was so pretty it nearly made her cry. Now, whether it really affected her that way, I dunno. Maybe she was really just trying to sell the house, but man...that view really is something else.


The next picture is of my very favorite slippers. I am going to have an actual memorial service when they finally wear out. I'm not kidding.



And finally...a gnome.

The Diva has spoken at 9:39 PM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, October 13, 2004 9:49 PM CDT
BAH!
Mood:  loud
Today over lunch I told my mom about the WalMart fantasy/Enchantment perfume commercial. She nearly spit McGrilled McChicken McSandwich all over me.

Now THAT was funny.

The Diva has spoken at 9:26 PM CDT
Monday, October 11, 2004
HUH?
Mood:  incredulous
Okay, for those of you who know me fairly well you know that All My Children is my favorite soap opera. Actually it's the only soap I watch. The other ones suck. I've watched AMC since I was a grade schooler - yes we start 'em early 'round here - and remember when Tad Martin was a child. I am so damn old. ANyway, I was watching it one day last week and for the first time shook my head in redneck shame at my fine soap opera.

Commercial voice-over guy says "They're living the fantasy. Now you can, too." This line is said as shots of the glamorous women of Pine Valley are being shown in their sexiest, most glamorous outfits and giving us all the best "Come get me, baby" looks they can muster. Voice-over guys continues, "All My Children's Enchantment Perfume." Now here comes the most outrageous line I've ever heard:
"Live the fantasy at WalMart." HUH? What the-???? I love WM and all, but never once in my entire life have I ever had a fantasy of any kind involving WalMart, much less the perfume they sell there. I'm sorry, but do they really think that we're all going to run out to our local WalMart SuperCenter and grab every bottle off the shelf in some paltry attempt at making our trailer-park lives better? More glamorous? Full of adultery, murder, lots of liquor, sex sex and more sex...

Umm...sorry guys, gotta run. I just remembered a few things I needed to pick up at WalMart...

The Diva has spoken at 10:25 PM CDT
It's fall, y'all!
Mood:  chillin'
I put "chillin'" on my mood because it's freakin' COLD here! Okay, not cold, but definitely brisk. I LOVE this weather! Even though it's rained the last 4 days I still love the cool in the air and seeing new colors in the trees from day to day.

David asked me a few questions that I feel compelled to answer now that I have the time to sit here and think about 'em.

"OK, R-D, how's this:

1. Your favorite food -- the one you could every day, non-stop?
2. Favorite TV show -- ever -- and why?
3. Picture of your local area that you think captures the beauty of it.

Go!
"

Alrighty, David...
1. First of all, what a hard question!! I have actually pondered this one all weekend, trying to think of a particular food that I would want to eat every day and really couldn't pinpoint a particular dish, per se. I guess I'm going to have to be incredibly vague when I say "chocolate". Because I actually do eat chocolate all day every day! LOL
2. Thinking back about all the TV shows I've ever watched, I'm going to answer this one with "Little House on the Prairie." I grew up on that show, followed it to the very end and cried many a tear with my mom, both of us sitting on the couch, bawling and sniffling, sharing a box of kleenex. After I read the books, I got a little frustrated for awhile at the fact that it really didn't follow the true stories she wrote, but Mom told me that just because they were named the same they didn't have to be the same all the time. After that I was able to enjoy it again. ER and Alias are going to tie for second, just in case you wanna know.
3. I will take this particular picture tomorrow! I was going to today, but it was just so soggy and rainy and even though it was still beautiful, I decided to wait for some sunshine to go along with.

Thanks for asking, David!

Any more takers?

The Diva has spoken at 9:46 PM CDT

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